Emmys 2010 Clothes and Oh nos.

It's hard to write funny commentary about people who know how to dress themselves. So, if you want snarky insults, scroll immediately to the section labeled WORST.

I've never been to outer space. But I've seen this dress and that's a pretty close second. She is the best dressed tonight. She wins. And her prize is an extremely good looking husband.

A lot of people probably won't like this. Those people are wrong. This dress is like a sculpture. It's unique and the saturated color is what I dream about. Good job.

These two dresses are perfect in every way. I'm probably saying that because I am having a love affair with sequins this summer.

You may think looking like an Egyptian warrior is a bad thing. You are wrong. It is awesome. I am addicted to the wide shoulder. You think I'd like football more than I do. Just FYI, I don't like football. At all. What are sports? Also, R.I.P. Alexander McQueen. This dress is awesome.

This is probably a controversial choice. Or, it would be, if people actually looked at this blog and cared enough to debate my comments. I love this dress though. It has big shoulders and it's flowy. I'd wear it a hundred times. In 12 days. Yeah. Do THAT math.


There is something off about this dress. I think it has to do with that single strap horribleness. STILL the color is awesome and it's HARD to wear a layered, ruffled (quasi-ruffled?) dress without looking rather large.

Pretty. Boring. But pretty.

Minus points for only one cap sleeve. This would be in the BEST category if it had two cap sleeves. There's a lesson in there somewhere. That lesson? The more cap sleeves the better. Also, I'm absolutely in love with the v-neck and the chest draping. Chest draping sounds a little too much like chest raping. Too far?

WORST *Shakes head in Disapproval*

It's a shame that crop circles barfed all over Tina Fey's dress, because it fits her so well and it has cap sleeves. And we all know how I feel about cap sleeves. But, let me break it down for you mathematically: Crop circles being ugly > Cap sleeves being awesome.

From what I know about Mindy Kaling, this may or may not have been a dare. I hope it was a dare. Prom 2010!

Some people debone a fish and throw away the skeleton. This woman decided to debone a fish and wear it as a dress. She should have just seen Piranha 3D like a normal person.

I'm sure a lot of people like this. It looks like she's trying way too hard. You see how she's standing? That's the way people stand when they desperately want to look skinny in photos. Also, the dress is boring. ALSO, butt ruffle.

It looks like someone covered her in bandages and then decided it wasn't beige enough so they had to dump oatmeal on her. I keep thinking of the word barf. Because that's what this looks like.

I kind of respect her for going with the thigh ruffles. I mean, she clearly doesn't care.
Oh man this dress is so ugly. I can't stop looking at it. Why is there a seam running down the center? Like...really. Why. She probably wanted to look like a gothic mermaid. She looks like a Sea World shamu novelty balloon.

I learned two things from this horrible dress: that you can dye toilet paper gray and that you can turn gray toilet paper into a dress.

First we had a bandage dress, then we had a toilet paper dress. It only makes sense that we have a garbage bag dress, too. Ugh this is puckering all over the place. I can't look at it. Why does it have a bubble thing going on at the bottom? That rainbow seam across her stomach has got to be one of the most unflattering things ever. Although, ok, maybe not as unflattering as thigh ruffles.

Oh sweet jesus.
The main reason I dislike Avatar is because I find the blue cat people unbearably ugly. Like, it pains my eyeballs to look at them. This dress is the dress equivalent of blue cat people. MEOW. Related tangent: why didn't the Avatar cat people meow or purr? I mean, they were cats.

This is ugly to the point of being commendable.

I respect that she took a risk. I do not respect that that risk involved a ridiculous slit and an airbag.


Also, dear readers, here's a tip: if a dress comes with matching shoes, never wear the matching shoes. or the dress. Adieu.

all of these pictures are from yay credits.


  1. 1. I'm glad you're back;
    2. Just because it's Prada doesn't mean it's pretty. LOOKING AT YOU TOM HANKS' WIFE. Those shoes make me want to barf forever;
    3. I actually don't mind Tina Fey's dress. The real reason I dislike it is because IT'S BLACK ON THE RED CARPET AGAIN. That's all she wears, black. Booooooring;
    4. You missed Sally Draper's dress. I would wear that;
    5. I liked January's dress, except that hair is such a mess! It totally takes away from the structure of the dress.

  2. You know, at first I was like, "Whoa January Jones' hair." But then it grew on me. PROBABLY because this is how my hair looks most of the time.

    Aww, sorry I dropped the Sally Drapper ball. You know who's dress looked like a meadow? Toni Collette.

    I love the fit of Tina Fey's dress. I can't help but think she's wearing it as kind of a joke though. I DO like it more than the dress she wore the whole time in Date Night. That dress was DISTRACTINGLY BAD.

    Thanks for being glad I'm back. I'm back? haha Might just be temporary. You know what you should do now that you're in NYC? PHOTOGRAPH THE PRETTY BOYS. From a distance photos. what what.